Top 9 People who need REALLY GOOD SEX!

• Bristol Palin

The unwed teen mom is traveling around stumping for abstinence only education when she could be home with her infant. Of course, if her only sexual experience is with a high school jock, it's not surprising that she would be against it. She needs some RGS to make her into a more well rounded woman.

• Rep. Virginia Foxx (R-NC) 
  

This woman voted against the hate crimes bill and said that the Matthew Sheapard murder was a hoax. She did this in front of Matthew Shepards mother.  Rep Foxx desperatly needs to stay away from Stormfront and other neo-nazi websites that have been promoting this lie, and get laid. I realize she is not the most attractive woman, but maybe a few orgasms will smoothe out the rough edges.

• Ken Starr

Is an explanation even necessary? Someone! Anyone! Take one for the team! If he doesn't have some RGS soon he's going to come back out of his hole and cause more trouble!

• Carrie Prejean

Maybe if this foolhardy fundamentalist had ever had a relationship - much less some RGS she wouldn't be so hell bent on "protecting marriage for God". Correct us if we're wrong, but if a person has genuine faith in an omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent Mother/Father Goddess/God, why would that deity need a 20 year old silicon enhanced pageant Barbie to protect Her/Him/It? We just don't get all hoopla (however, Donald Trump gives us the willies).

• Perez Hilton

Hopefully, this whole pageant fiasco is getting him some RGS right this minute. He needs it bad. The day after the pageant his little diatribe just gave conservative fascists the ammunition they needed for a counter strike against the entire LGBT community while he came off sounding like a disempowered little bitch himself.  DROPPING THE C- BOMB IS NOT COOL!!! 

• Pat Robertson

Gay marriage leads to bestiality?? No, herding sheep and cows leads to bestiality.

• Our Upstairs Neighbor

There was many a time when we thought the ceiling was going to cave in from all the jack-hammering above us. She sure was a happy gal though, and being the love anarchists that we are, we heartily approve of RGS be it gay or straight.... Flash forward 3 or 4 years and she's doing the majority of the caretaking for his and her kids, we haven't heard an upstairs racket for months - if not years, and she always looks unhappy.

• Sean Hannity

The gag in mouth variety, bag over head optional.

• Ann Coulter

This velociraptor / human hybrid has tons of groupies, but they are all Republicans and Rednecks - how good could it be? Maybe if she had some down and dirty RGS with a liberal she wouldn't be so cranky.

Stay tuned, more coming.

Love is what matters, love is what lasts.